You Matter - Your Story Matters
By loving who you are, you can change the story that you're living
Over the years I’ve talked to thousands of people about the art of personal storytelling, and the most common reason many people are reluctant to tell their story is they don’t feel their story matters much, that their experiences and lessons learned over the years wouldn’t be of much interest to others. They’re not famous or a notable subject matter expert, so why would people want to listen to them. As though they don’t matter much.
When I mention this viewpoint they quickly counter that they do, in fact, matter, a lot, at least to their inner circle of family and friends. But in the grand scheme of things, to society as a whole, they don’t feel the wisdom they have to offer can make a difference.
That’s a belief I have never subscribed to, which is why I enjoy the process of working with these individuals to uncover the pearls of wisdom they have to share and to build a narrative around them. I have seen how powerful such personal stories can be, once they understand and believe that their story can positively affect the lives of others.
Which brings me to an insightful book that preaches the gospel of innate importance. You Matter: Learning to Love Who You Really Are by Matthew Emerzian offers many insights into the topic of why each of us matters, how acknowledging that fact serves to empower us, and why that perspective ultimately benefits the world around us.
I had the pleasure of meeting Matt in 2012 just after he gave his TEDxSanDiego Talk. His story was one of extreme highs and lows, and thankfully one that was currently at a definite high point. It was during this roller coaster that he discovered a noble truth.
Perched atop the entertainment world as a senior vice president working on projects for artists such as U2, Coldplay, and Black Eyed Peas, Matt’s world crumbled around him as he fell into a deep abyss of depression and chronic anxiety disorder - a place filled with darkness and despair, an experience that could cripple the best of us.
I believe that self-and social transformation are first cousins and they happen interchangeably at the same time.
Over time he came to embrace a perspective that recognizes the value that everyone possesses, and the inherent value of service to others. Coming out of his ordeal Matt founded a non-profit, Every Monday Matters, committed to helping individuals and organizations understand how much and why they matter, to themselves, and to the community around them.
If you read his book you will experience a degree of openness and vulnerability that few storytellers dare to share. In doing so he illustrates the fact that the only way a story of change can have impact is to share the highs and lows, doubts and rebirth. Such stories can’t be sugar coated, or stay on the surface. They need to spend time living in tough situations, allowing the audience to walk in those narrative shoes.
Judging is much easier to do than taking the time to invest in others, to learn their stories, and to understand why they might be different from us.
Along the way Matt came to embrace the need for empathy and compassion, to hear the stories of strangers, as well as friends and family. To ask challenging questions, and to see the value in hearing about experiences radically different than his own.
I’m a big proponent of storylistening for just this reason, as our stories become more impactful as we listen to, and respect, the journeys others have endured. Storytelling wisdom is gained when we listen more than we speak, and avoid moral judgement.
We cannot let anything get in the way of serving one another. So always be ready to serve – every day, in every way. Remember, you matter, but it’s not always about you.
When change is what matters most, the essence of your story should take an audience on a journey, leading them to a new place of understanding, and do so with a sense of service, not with an objective of accomplishment. When we all show up in a grateful and giving way, we help dreams come true for one another. That’s a life well lived, a world well served.
I hope that you enjoyed this post. If so, please share your wisdom and insights below. And don’t forget to subscribe. You can also find me on LinkedIn and Twitter, or even drop me a line with any thoughts or questions you may have about storytelling.