Three Reasons We Don’t Tell Our Story
Don't let these excuses derail your plans to share an important story
Some folks are eager to tell their story. They feel their message is one that others could benefit from hearing, which explains why they’re always looking for an opportunity to share their experiences and lessons learned on their life’s journey.
But there are a lot of people who have powerful stories worth sharing, yet they express reasons to avoid telling their story to an audience. They’re quite fine remaining silent. When I ask why, they often reply with an answer similar to the following…
I’m not a great public speaker, and I’m not a professional
I just don’t know how to make my story sound interesting
I might make a mistake, or even forget what I want to say
Sound familiar? Well, you’re in good company, but I’m here to tell you that none of these reasons should stop you, or even slow you down. So let’s dispel each of them. Let’s get you motivated to share your impactful stories with the world.
You were born a storyteller
That’s the first thing that I want every potential speaker to know and to fully embrace. Think about it. As babies we learn about the world around us by watching others and listening to them tell stories. It doesn’t take long before we start speaking and telling stories of our own. Simple stories at first, naturally, but these stories gain in meaning and complexity day by day.
Now think about the thousands of stories you’ve told since; to your family, to kids in the neighborhood, to your classmates at school. You are always telling stories. It is a skill unique to humans. Other animals have crude ways to communicate, but story is reserved for humans. It’s how we talk about the past, and dream about the future.
Storytelling is the most fundamental way in to understand and express our humanity
That said, we’re rarely taught how to tell a story designed to impact others - a story that is very intentional in its wording, structure and delivery - a story with meaning beyond recounting events and conversations.
But like any other skill that we wish to master – playing an instrument or sport, for example – we must spend a great deal of time and effort in order to make it happen. The more times you speak in front of an audience, and the more effort you put into writing and rehearsing your stories, the better you become. So you don’t need to be great, or a professional, you just need to be you in order to tell your story.
Create an interesting story
While we spend our lives telling stories to each other, stories told to an audience are more intentional and structured to express an important idea or to convey a specific viewpoint. There is a difference, which means there are skills to be mastered.
I approach the storytelling process with three steps: ideation, narration, presentation.
Before you write a single word of your story you need to define the main message that will drive your narrative and represent the gift that you want your audience to receive. The proverbial pearl of wisdom. Impact means the listener possesses something after your talk that they did not have beforehand.
To use a classic marketing mantra, ask yourself 3 questions in regards your audience:
What do you want them to think?
How do you want them to feel?
What do you want them to do?
Will the essence of your story shift their perspective, teach them something new, touch them emotionally, challenge preconceived notions, or inspire them to act? Ideally, your message is original, imaginative, one they haven’t heard before. New is interesting.
With clarity on your subject/intent, find story elements that will support your message. Check out these Story Blocks for examples of elements within a compelling narrative. Utilize elements that will be of interest to your audience and you will be well on your way to creating a captivating story.
Mastering your narrative
Telling a story which includes events, observations, feelings, and thoughts presented in a specific order to maximize impact, requires practice. Lots of practice. Rehearse, rehearse and rehearse some more. Rehearse by yourself, then do it in front of friends. Feedback during this phase is important, so ask your listeners if they understood the intent of your story, or if got lost/confused at any point.
Take advantage of your phone, tablet or laptop by recording your talk. When played back you will hear yourself saying words you wouldn’t normally use in conversation. Editing at this stage will result in a more naturally sounding talk. Then capture your presentation on video. Note your body language and facial expressions. While your words are always most important, your delivery can significantly improve meaning.
You don’t need to memorize your entire talk, but you should know your opening and closing by heart. Starting strong gets the audience engaged, while a strong closing is the best way to ensure that your message is memorable. You must also know each of the elements in your story, and the sequence in which they occur. Delivering a story out of order will often confuse the listener. They won’t be able to follow the thread.
As to making mistakes, the audience won’t have a copy of your talk, so in most cases they won’t notice if an element is missing. That said, if you do catch yourself saying the wrong thing, such as stating a wrong date or quoting an incorrect number, just pause for a moment, take a breath, then correct yourself. The audience will highly appreciate your honesty.
Conclusion
I could spend many hours on each of these subjects, but the bottom line is that there’s a strategy for dealing with each one, so you shouldn’t allow them to get in the way of sharing your story with an audience. Your story can change the world!
I hope that you enjoyed this post. If so, please share your wisdom and insights below. And don’t forget to subscribe. You can also find me on LinkedIn and Twitter, or even drop me a line with any thoughts or questions you may have about storytelling.