Outlines are a valuable tool for crafting personal stories as they will capture important topics to include in your narrative. But a mistake that a lot of people make is stopping at the outline stage, believing that it’s better to speak extemporaneously on the topics they’ve identified and avoid the process of writing out their story in detail. Others do write out their story, but they think they’re finished when they’re only half way there.
While such stories / talks often contain a valuable idea / thread, all too often they fall short with regards to impact. They may be good, but they’re rarely great, and that’s an unfortunate result when their story has the potential to touch someone. In the worst situations these stories are a rambling / unorganized mess that confuses the listener. “What was that all about?” is a question I’ve (sadly) heard after many presentations.
The problem is that the story stays too close the surface - lacking visual, intellectual and emotional depth. The thing is, achieving that depth of meaning happens during the writing process, transforming personal experiences and thoughts into the words and phrases which allow readers / listeners to slip inside your narrative, try on your shoes, feel what you felt, think what you thought, understand where you’ve been.
The importance of doing the work cannot be overstated. That act of writing, using a pencil / pen, or by way of your favorite digital device, allows you to see / read / hear your words (rehearsing is fundamental) and ask yourself three important questions.
Is this the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
What did I leave out, what am I afraid to say in my story?
Am I listing facts, or did I include my thoughts / feelings?
Let’s look at an example - the story of a family member’s illness, how the storyteller dealt with the challenges, and the lessons / insights that they derived along the way. Lessons / insights that they want to share with an audience, because so many of us (nearly all of of us, in fact) will deal with, or have dealt with, a similar experience.
Creating an outline is a perfect way to begin the creative process. In this case it’s a chronological timeline of significant milestones, beginning when life is going well, then hearing the cancer news, making the decision to return home to help a parent, facing the question of life and death, dealing with treatment and recovery, then go back to school, forever changed, with a different perspective on the meaning of life.
I begin my senior year in college
Mom is diagnosed with cancer
Moving back home to help her
Surgery and chemotherapy
Mom is finally in remission
I return to college classes
What I learned about myself
If this had happened to you I’m sure you could tell a story off the top of your head. Every experience was personal; you were there, you lived it, felt it. I’ve heard many stories from clients that are similar, but as noted earlier, the first telling will often skim the surface. I get the gist of it, and follow / feel their journey to some degree.
But it’s only when I start asking questions about the events - what happened, what emotions came to light - that the deeper story emerges. Think about how a writer (novels / movies) creates characters, events, locations that pull you into the scene. You’re lost in the plot as the story unfolds and the world around you disappears.
Professional story coaches focus on this process of peeling back the layers of your narrative in order to achieve the same result, but you can also use a trusted friend, even do it to yourself. Either way, it’s critical that you spend the time required to create an authentic story, bringing the essence to the surface, before you share it.
For example, saying, “I was scared the first time I went to the hospital with my mom” is accurate, but saying, “I walked down the long hospital corridor holding my mom’s hand, electronic beeps drifting from each room as we passed, patients laying in their beds rarely moving, and I couldn’t help but wonder if some of them would never leave the hospital.”
See the difference? The first line is from a classic first draft, while the second one required a bit of effort and editing. Not only do you come to the same conclusion, which is understanding the storyteller was scared, but there’s a good chance that you’ve visited a hospital, walked down a hallway, and wondered the same thing.
It’s the writing and editing (we’ll get into editing next time), the digging for truth, coming face to face with what happened and how it felt that reveals the true story. Events are essential, of course, but emersion is the goal. Did they hear it, or feel it.
One technique that I encourage storytellers to employ is to treat each bullet as an individual story (which is why I promote the use of Story Blocks) and not worry so much about the full narrative in the beginning. Spend time on the smaller stories, asking questions about each scene, pushing yourself to remember, and to re-live.
Do the work and write your story. In doing so you can impact lives.
I hope that you enjoyed this post. If so, please share your wisdom and insights below. And don’t forget to subscribe. You can also find me on LinkedIn and Twitter, or even drop me a line with any thoughts or questions you may have about your storytelling.