Everyone dies eventually. That’s an aspect of reality that we all learn at a very early age, yet we still feel a deep sense of loss when it happens. While anyone’s passing can touch us deeply, it’s often the case that those who have been closest to us, our dear friends or family members, create a void that can’t be filled and we’re compelled to capture some of our most meaningful memories through story.
The nature of such relationships is that a piece of us - our past, present, and future - is connected to them in a very special way and we fear their passing will break that bond. The process of writing about them, however, is a way to document important thoughts, feelings, and experiences. In doing so, we can keep that most sacred of bonds intact.
The passing of a great friend and storyteller
That’s the situation I found myself in recently as someone who changed my life in very profound ways was taken, as have so many others, by a pandemic that continues on it’s path of destruction throughout many parts of the world.
What I remember most about Jeff was his smile and laugh. He was one of those people who could light up a room with his entrance. You instantly felt welcome, at home, and part of the family. His humility had a way of overshadowing his commanding presence whenever he spoke. He taught without teaching, and performed without performing.
Personally and professionally, Jeff Salz was, above all else, a storyteller. A hall of fame speaker who delivered keynotes at conferences around the world, Jeff had discovered himself, as well as the essence of humanity through the art of storytelling. He was an adventurer who climbed tall mountains and traversed dense jungles with abandon.
I didn’t know Jeff during those heady days of outdoor adventure, but I heard many of the stories after we connected in June of 2016. As you might surmise, the reason that we became friends was a mutual love for personal storytelling. He had been thinking about a new storytelling program, one designed to teach small groups of students in the art of crafting narratives, and as partners we made that idea a reality.
Combining Jeff’s experience within the realm of keynote speaking with my experience producing TEDx events, we launched the Speaker Adventure program. We would begin by working virtually with a small group of speakers, exploring their ideas and fleshing out their stories before bringing them together for an intensive weekend retreat that provided a pathway to insight and inspiration. Story evolution = human evolution.
Meditation, instruction, rehearsal and feedback consumed the first day as participants learned about the art of storytelling, then applied that knowledge to editing their story in preparation for a second phase of the retreat. That day was devoted to speaking in a theatre, learning about the power of stage presence and delivery techniques. Finishing the curriculum, each speaker was filmed while delivering their talk. They became pros.
With our differing backgrounds and differing takes on personal storytelling, Jeff and I gained wisdom from each other. Our students may have seen us as the teachers, but in reality, we played the role of students as well. It was a blessing to spend so much time with a peer who was also a friend and mentor. That’s a unique combination in life.
As we worked with group after group our friendship and respect continued to evolve and we found ourselves inhabiting the sacred space of shared experiences and story.
It’s often said that the most powerful stores are ‘re-lived’, not ‘re-told’. Audiences can hear your story, but more importantly, they can re-live it as you share your narrative.
Jeff took that idea a step further by suggesting that, to begin with, everyone think of the place in which they would delivery their story as a big living room full of friends who were eager to hear them without judgement. Combining these ideas, Jeff would then say that the ideal space for telling a personal story was in a re-living room.
Over our many sessions I witnessed transformations in both confidence and ability, with every participant leaving a different person than when they had arrived. That’s something I take forward with me and cherish as the true power of storytelling, the ability it has to change us for the better. It was a gift that Jeff offered freely to every person who had the honor of working with him.
We ended the Speaker Adventure program when Jeff made the move to Ecuador. In a state of semi-retirement he retained his speaker coaching practice but increasingly spent time hiking the local hills with his amazing wife. Jeff embodied his sense of adventure and exploration until the very end.
It’s time to tell your story…
If someone in your life had an impact on you, consider capturing that remembrance on paper. The process can be a cathartic one, as reliving such events has a way of bringing other memories to the surface. As with every personal story, the process of writing it is primarily one of self-exploration. You’ll come to see the world differently while diving deeper into the details and discovering previously unrecognized insights.
What events / interactions / conversations do you remember most?
How did this person change your life, and what lessons did you learn?
Were the lives of others touched by this person, and if so, in what ways?
If you’re thinking of someone who has passed, someone whose wisdom, love, courage and compassion impacted you, take the time to share your memories and honor their passing. Your tribute can be as short as a tweet, comprise a blog post, become a short story, even a biography. It’s not the length that matters, it’s about sharing a precious part of your heart. A part created by the deeds of another.
I hope that you enjoyed this post. If so, please share your wisdom and insights below. And don’t forget to subscribe. You can also find me on LinkedIn and Twitter, or even drop me a line with any thoughts or questions you may have about your storytelling.