Is your story aligned with your moral compass?
And have you ever taken a moral detour in order to serve another purpose?
I was working with a client the other day, and at one point the conversation turned to the topic of identifying the principles that form a story’s foundation. As we discussed the subject, three principles rose to the top of our list: Honor, Integrity, and Respect. While we talked at some length, I’ve summarized what these principles meant to us:
Honor — the story being told is true, told honestly, without any embellishment or fabrication. The narrative faithfully represents the authenticity of the experiences being shared and reflects the story’s true meaning.
Integrity — the story aligns with one's actions, words, and personal values while respecting the privacy of others involved in the story. In some situations that can mean obtaining consent from the other party. (or notifying them of your intent)
Respect — the story is cognizant of personal and cultural limits with regards to what is going to be shared. That could mean creating narrative boundaries and considering the emotional impact of a story on both the teller and the audience.
At the intersection of honor, integrity, and respect
Another subject arose as we discussed how those principles interact with each other: moral compass. As we explored the term we both held the assumption that our moral compass must be positive in nature, as (in our opinion) it’s based on the principles of honor, integrity, and respect. But the truth is, we don’t always follow our compass.
When we abandon our moral compass
In some cases, outside influences that are not in alignment with our values and beliefs enter the picture. Religious dogma or political ideology may be out of sync with those morals we cherish. Greed has a way of masking our sense of right and wrong when a significant financial gain looms large, and the seductive nature of being in a position of power can also cause us to loosen the reigns on our convictions. The effect of fear and intimidation, of being persecuted or ostracized for our beliefs often cause us to shift into preservation mode. In such cases the stories we tell ourselves and others may take a moral detour.
Silence is a story unto itself
While some folks engage in a form of moral hypocrisy due to social pressure or personal gain, others stay silent as they fear the repercussions of speaking the truth or sharing their true feelings. I get it. We’re always evaluating the potential benefit of a decision against any associated risks, and history is full of stories about people who suffered, both physically and mentally, as a result of publicly sharing their values and beliefs.
It’s not uncommon for clients to tell me, “I really want to include this event in my story, but I don’t want to suffer the consequences.”
It’s a time for self-awareness
I’m not here to cast a moral judgement on anyone. That’s not the point of this article. Instead, it’s a call for a moment of self-reflection when telling a personal story. To be aware of whether your story’s narrative is in alignment with your moral compass, or has deviated in some way from your cherished principles to serve another purpose.
I’m curious as to your thoughts regarding the idea of humans having a moral compass, and whether you’ve ever been tempted to take a moral detour in order to serve another purpose. Leave a comment below.