There are countless ways in which a personal story can be told, but I tend to think of them in two basic ways. Experience/Transformation stories - think The Moth - which focus on someone’s journey and how they changed because of it, and Experience/Idea stories - think TED/TEDx Talks - which also involve someone’s journey, but end with the offering of a defined message or a cool new idea.
In either case, the thoughts & emotions, experiences & insights of the storyteller are the important factors that we pay the most attention to. After all, it's the storyteller’s story that we’re hearing/watching/reading, so it’s about them to a large degree.
But the best of these stores, more often than not, include another character, a second (or even a third) thread in the narrative - someone else’s story. This may be a tale told about a relative, friend, partner, teacher or mentor. And if you think about it, our life experiences are never detached from the rest of the world. All of our experiences are, to some extent influenced by others. Those we encountered have become woven into our storyline. So it makes perfect sense that “our” story also includes “their” story.
The passages in our story that involve someone other than ourself may be told from memory - what we recall happened, or remember being said. This is common when subjects are no longer living. But often times the person in question is still with us, and so we have a chance to interview them while we’re busy crafting our narratives.
Interviewing someone is very similar to preparing a character, isn't it? You're just asking questions: 'Who is this person? Why did they make that choice? Why are they doing that?' You're being Sherlock Holmes. ~Felicity Jones
Interviews are a powerful way to go much deeper into any story. To reveal facts and feelings beyond the limits of our memory, or to hear another side of the experience. With all of my clients the coaching process begins with an interview to explore the intent, message and motivation. How they came to know what they know, and feel what they feel about the journey they’ve traversed up to a point of understanding.
Interviews can be fun, especially when the topics involve successes and good times. But they can also be difficult if discussions explore pain and heartache, or when the person you’re interviewing is less than candid, less than honest. At times they don’t want their story, or certain facts about their story, to become known by the masses. While it’s important to be sensitive in such situations, you’re still seeking the truth.
It means you have to be cognizant of their desires and feelings while also staying true to your narrative, as it’s your desire is to share an honest story, so it should never ring false.
I recently listened to a Longform Podcast episode in which Evan Ratliff interviewed Carvell Wallace: podcast host, writer for The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine, brilliant thinker, and co-author, with Andre Iguodala, of The Sixth Man.
(if you want to get an ear full of masterful interviewing, do subscribe to the podcast)
Carvell’s comments on the interview process changed how I think about the way in which to approach interviews. (yes, I’m always in story mode, and in learning mode)
If you have a subject on stage, the way you light them, that is, in an of itself, telling a story. ~Carvell Wallace
Carvell shared the metaphor of viewing a profile as a painting of that person, and in order to do them justice, we have to light them properly from all different directions, from multiple angles: top, bottom, left, right. A shifting of physical views as a way to be aware of, and to discover, the many aspects of someone’s personal story.
Think about that. When you're writing the profile of a person - as well as when you're interviewing someone - you’re painting a portrait of them, and everything they say, or that you will say, is a source of light, but a light that must point back to the person in question, not towards you. You're the storyteller, but in this case, it's still their story.
Part of what I always try to do is make connections between things that don't seem to be connected. ~Carvell Wallace
Every detail that you capture during an interview shapes the context of your own story. The locations, the environments, even what they are wearing, as well as what they say about the events that occurred. Whether you are providing a commentary, opinion or insight their story needs to stand on its own. In one sense, you’re a story archeologist when you’re doing an interview. What will you find out that you don’t already know?
How do you engage with that person, what do you say to them, how do you listen to them, how do you reflect back to them what you see, how do you lay out expectations, how do you establish trust? ~Carvell Wallace
As you consider the elements of your story, consider the stories of others that could be important pieces within your narrative, and if possible, seek them out, hear their views as threads which can become entwined within your storyline. It could make for a more complex fabric, but a more beautiful piece of cloth that an audience will appreciate.
What amazing insights have you gained from conducting an interview?
When have you waited too long to speak to someone and lost the chance?
I hope that you enjoyed this post. If so, please share your wisdom and insights below. And don’t forget to subscribe. You can also find me on LinkedIn and Twitter, or even drop me a line with any thoughts or questions you may have about your storytelling.