How stories turn strangers into people we care about
Sónia Silva's take on building community with personal stories, even messy ones
I’m a fan of stories, of course, but I’m also a fan of one-liners (or two-liners) within a story that stand out — that speak volumes in just a few words. So I was delighted to watch Sónia Silva’s TEDx talk about how our personal stories can build community and connect us.
But what if the real glue between us isn’t sameness, but the courage to live our own really messy human stories?
As I often encounter folks who say they have a story to tell, but don’t feel that anyone would be interested in what they have to say, or lack confidence in their storytelling talents, Sónia’s talk was a welcome reminder that everyone’s story matters.
Tell your story, even if it’s messy, even if your voice shakes. Create space, build community, not to fit in, not to perform, to belong.
When we find meaning together, we co-create the future. When we find meaning together, we co-create relations.
On the topic of full disclosure… I do know Sónia, as we’re both on the curation team at TEDxLisboa as speaker coaches. And I happen to know that she’s a master storyteller, which is to say she’s someone I look to for storytelling wisdom and insights.
Empathy doesn’t come from headlines or from data. It’s emotional education by direct exposure without someone else’s filter.
But I wanted to feature her talk, What if community is built by sharing stories we hide?, because it’s also a great example of a well-structured story. Her narrative starts with a personal experience about how she felt out of place after moving to a new country. It’s something we’ve all felt — not fitting in — in some fashion or another.
And after discovering a post in Humans of New York she came to realize that stories turn strangers into people we care about. Sónia goes on to list other projects that demonstrate the power of stories to build community. (we learn by discovering the stories of others)
Sónia turns the spotlight back on herself while referring to a vulnerable story she told one night at Storytelling Lisboa, and how it touched members of the audience. Finally, she shares 5 tips for how anyone can create connection by sharing their story. And yes, you’ll have to watch her talk to hear those tips.
Back to you…
What’s the story you’ve been thinking about, but you’re not sure if people will listen, or you’re hesitating because you don’t think of yourself as a public speaker? Having heard Sónia’s talk I’m hoping you’re now ready to share it with the world. Or at least with your local community.